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random jokes

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Postby hellmouth » Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:19 am

i heard a couple jokes at work today thought they were pretty funny, if i offend anyone im sorry didnt mean too, just my coworker told me these today and thought id share

a guy walk up to a girl at a bar and says "hey have u ever had magic sex?" the girl says "whats magic sex?" the guy says " its easy we f they u dissappear"

last one

a guy and his wife are sitting in bed they guy asks his wife " can i cum in your ear?" the wife says "no ill go deaf!" the guy says " well i cum in your mouth and u still talk"
:twisted:
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Postby Warspirit » Mon Jun 04, 2007 10:53 am

Haha, the last one is awesome :lol:
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Postby barth » Mon Jun 04, 2007 1:27 pm

hellmouth wrote:i heard a couple jokes
:twisted:


horrible and disgusting...
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Postby Arctangent » Mon Jun 04, 2007 3:37 pm

stolen from another site, but too funny not to post:

Husband says to wife 'My Olympic condoms have arrived, I think I'll wear gold tonight'

Wife says 'Why don't you wear Silver and cum fuckin 2nd for a change?!'
You were the light and the way, they’ll only read about.
I only pray, Heaven knows when to lift you out.
Ten thousand days in the fire is long enough... you’re going home.
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Postby Iceddawn » Mon Jun 04, 2007 3:43 pm

ROFLMAO
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Postby Les Ténèbres » Mon Jun 04, 2007 10:13 pm

I remember I really liket such jokes when I was thirteen :wink:
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Postby MySanityDoesFly » Mon Jun 04, 2007 10:29 pm

The last joke I heard was...

Why did the blonde stop taking the pill? Because it kept falling out.






Sorry :roll:
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Postby VoiceOfCommonSense » Mon Jun 04, 2007 11:41 pm

MySanityDoesFly wrote:The last joke I heard was...

Why did the blonde stop taking the pill? Because it kept falling out.






Sorry :roll:


LOL :) Love to have a good laugh before goin' to sleep :)
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Postby Enig » Mon Jun 04, 2007 11:48 pm

Les Ténèbres wrote:I remember I really liket such jokes when I was thirteen :wink:

Well, it's good that I'm young at heart so I can still enjoy them :D
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Postby Arctangent » Tue Jun 05, 2007 9:40 am

Les Ténèbres wrote:I remember I really liket such jokes when I was thirteen :wink:


what, you had a sense of humour bypass when you were 14? :wink:
You were the light and the way, they’ll only read about.
I only pray, Heaven knows when to lift you out.
Ten thousand days in the fire is long enough... you’re going home.
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Postby Nicholas » Tue Jun 05, 2007 5:22 pm

I don't think I'm good at telling jokes, but I'll try:

Two Irish guys walk into the pub and order a bottle of whiskey each. The bartender asks "Are you celebrating?", and one of the two replies "Yes, we finished a puzzle in record time!" "Really, how long did it take?" asks the bartender, and the other one anwseres "It had a 100 pieces and it took us six months to finish..." The bartender exclaims in a bit of a shock "6 months?! :o " Then the tow say "Yes, it wrote on the box: 2-5 years"

The developement of meodern medicine:
2000 B.C. - Here eat this root
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say a prayer
1400 A.D. - The prayer is superstition, use this potion
1700 A.D. - That potion is ineffective, use this oil
1900 A.D. - That is snake oil, here take this pill
1950 A.D. - That pill is too weak, the this antibiotic
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is too unnatural, here eat this root


Well, I hope some of you had a laugh :D
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Postby Aylin Black » Tue Jun 05, 2007 8:21 pm

lol... I really liked the medicine one, Nicholas
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Postby Les Ténèbres » Wed Jun 06, 2007 12:54 am

Arctangent wrote:
Les Ténèbres wrote:I remember I really liket such jokes when I was thirteen :wink:


what, you had a sense of humour bypass when you were 14? :wink:


Something like that(;


(Actually I quite enjoyed that medicin joke :P )
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Postby RWHN » Wed Jun 06, 2007 5:12 pm

I was talking to this clam one day.
Yeah, he decided he could open up to me.
I told him I was looking for pearls of wisdom.
He told me to fuck off and to go buy an encyclopedia.

This funny brought to you by the Stinky Pun division of HIMEOBS.
"Ruining the world, one lail at a time."
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Postby Aroussa » Wed Jun 06, 2007 9:37 pm

there's this Irish guy called Paddy, and he's down in the pub having a few drinks. having a lot of drinks actually, and when he tries to stand up he falls flat on his face.
'bloody hell' he thinks, 'I must be really drunk!' he decides to crwal outside. 'a bit of fresh air might help' he thinks.
when he's outside he tries to pull himself up from a ledge on the pub wall, but again, he falls to the ground.
'allright' he thinks 'I live just 'round the corner. I'll crawl home and then I'll try again.'
at his front door he pulls himself up from the doorknob, but again he falls down!
from his knees he maneges to open up the door, and crawl up the stairs.
in his bedroom, he pulls himself up from the side of the bed, and again falls over.
his wife wakes up and say 'Paddy, you must be drunk'.
'am not' Paddy says. 'yes you are' says his wife 'because you left your wheelchair down at the pub again'.
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