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Postby shagrat » Fri Dec 27, 2013 8:09 pm

:lol: :lol:
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
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Postby The She-Wolf » Sun Dec 29, 2013 2:56 pm

:lol: :lol:

That reminds me of that joke in which one guy says to another:

- I feel so sad and depressed, like I could kill myself, if only you, sir, could help me...

- I'm very sorry, my good sir, but I'm not carrying a gun at the moment.
"Se te é impossível viver só, nasceste escravo"
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Postby UnAs » Tue Dec 31, 2013 11:45 am

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MySanityDoesFly :It would take more than a tight arse to get me to a Megadeth show ;-)
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Postby The She-Wolf » Tue Dec 31, 2013 7:09 pm

The Paris part just cracked me up :lol:
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Postby muskurov » Sat Jan 18, 2014 9:01 pm

A client ordered a soup in a restaurant but he didn't get his spoon so he calls the waiter over. The waiter just grabs in his breast pocket and pulls out a spoon and hands it to the customer. The customer is pleasantly surprised and goes "that sure went quick, you guys always carry an extra spoon around?" The waiter goes: "Yes, you know we had business consultants from McKenzie here and they streamlined all the processes. They calculated that if every waiter always carries a spoon around this will save every waiter 18 extra walks to the kitchen a week, and for every waiter combined that amounts to over 50 hours a month which is like 500 bucks." the client is impressed.
After lunch when the client is ordering the bill he notices a little thread going from the belt of the waiter into the fly. He asks "is this also something to with McKenzie"? "Yes, you know, the thread is tied to my penis and if I go to the toilet I can just open my pants and pull the thread and don't have to touch my penis - I don't have to wash my hands after peeing, save time again and McKenzie calculated that this saves the restaurant another hundreds of dollars a month".
The client is impressed but asks "So how do you get it back into your pants after peeing?" Waiter: "I don't know how the others do it but I use the spoon"
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Postby abbie » Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:30 am

A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.
"Thank you, honey", she says. "What would you like me to bring back for you?"
He laughs and says, "An Italian girl!"
When the conference is over, he meets her at the airport and asks:
"So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good," she replies.
"And what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" she asks.
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!"
"Oh, that," she says. "Well, I did what I could. Now we have to wait nine months to see if it's a girl."
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Postby Mammon Iaho Dumah » Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:14 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sziLVL6Pzug
Yes, I still can't post Youtube links properly! :| *patiently waits for Danhod's sarcastic remarks*
muskurov wrote:
MySanityDoesFly wrote:Let Jesus fuck you! Haha. God should definitely let me fuck him.


MySanityDoesFly wrote:muskurov is my new god :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:


I don't like this :!:
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Postby shagrat » Wed Jan 22, 2014 9:08 pm

That parrot is hilarious, got good comic timing too. :lol: :lol:
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Postby UnAs » Mon Jan 27, 2014 5:16 pm

MySanityDoesFly :It would take more than a tight arse to get me to a Megadeth show ;-)
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Postby Mammon Iaho Dumah » Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:39 pm

muskurov wrote:
MySanityDoesFly wrote:Let Jesus fuck you! Haha. God should definitely let me fuck him.


MySanityDoesFly wrote:muskurov is my new god :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:


I don't like this :!:
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Postby Mammon Iaho Dumah » Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:45 am

Image
muskurov wrote:
MySanityDoesFly wrote:Let Jesus fuck you! Haha. God should definitely let me fuck him.


MySanityDoesFly wrote:muskurov is my new god :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:


I don't like this :!:
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Postby muskurov » Fri May 09, 2014 11:15 am

A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."

"Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked.
...

"Well," the man said, "I figured she didn't want it out, so I pushed it back in."
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Postby Danhod » Fri May 09, 2014 11:50 pm

muskurov wrote:A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."

"Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked.
...

"Well," the man said, "I figured she didn't want it out, so I pushed it back in."


Lol! Saucy
As Real As Rainbows
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Postby Mammon Iaho Dumah » Mon May 12, 2014 8:46 pm

muskurov wrote:
MySanityDoesFly wrote:Let Jesus fuck you! Haha. God should definitely let me fuck him.


MySanityDoesFly wrote:muskurov is my new god :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:


I don't like this :!:
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Postby Mammon Iaho Dumah » Fri May 16, 2014 6:34 pm

Image
muskurov wrote:
MySanityDoesFly wrote:Let Jesus fuck you! Haha. God should definitely let me fuck him.


MySanityDoesFly wrote:muskurov is my new god :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:


I don't like this :!:
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