Sunday, 17th November 2019

Feel The Misery

Feel The Misery

And My Father Left Forever

I would have given more. I tied my children to a dying horse.
Stacked up against me, the bodies heaved and stank upon their gore.
On the earth lying still, my father found me there, ashamed and dying bare.
I had spent many years destroying all around, took everything I found.

With a dying fall his voice left him. It shouldn’t be this way.
Do not hope for any other. And he picked up my hand.

I would have given more. They brought me misery and they would not falter.
We poured down our ratchets,
Upon them day and night with brutal force and might.
To dead men and absent, there are no friends left to scribe the things we do.

When I wake up I want to see you.
Bring me the life that is within you.
I charge myself off your body,
But in my arms, the darkness deepens.

I’ll raise my hand to break you. If I don’t another will.

And my father left forever. It shouldn’t be this way.
I sang long psalms of bitter verse, but God had turned away.
Men are free at the blood of Christ. I wish it was this way.

Breathing is faster and breathing is deeper,
And falling no longer bothers me.
Sinking is deeper, thinking is cleaner.
Your love it flows away from me.
The pool of Bethesda beckons me closer.
Put off that closing evil hour.
The Devil, he is very old indeed.
We sit with a few stories to tell.

To Shiver in Empty Halls

I rose in purest winter.
The ripped canvas of the dark sky.
Fierce I go into the night.
As rain runs upon me,
My poisoned shell becomes alight.

Wickedness with beauty is the Devils hook baited.
Darkness is loneliness.
With shadows tall and grim
And histories inked in sin.

I have eaten you.
My guilt is dust.

St. Petersburg revealed to me,
Its Winter Palace by the see,
Saw my crippled birth.
The seduction of Plato offers up one more clue.

Watching proud with a smile on my face.
Your holy shiver and fall from grace.
All you offer is an empty faith,
Looking around me, that won’t keep you safe.

And I am always at your side,
Crawling black and silent.
You do not even truly believe,
Which makes me proud of what I’ve achieved.
The fortress of humanity,
Broken now, falls into the sea.

Now my sins are washed away.

For those of you, who exist, I lay for you, three numbers six
Over the hill and under the ground, sing as you like,
There is no sound.

A Cold New Curse

By beauty and by fear, along with hungers tears
By the last of the days heat, the broken women weep
So take my dying soul. It never felt so old
I thank my enemy for having thought of me

Desires on the shadow of God
Who becomes the last to fall?
Hate, in the soul of them all

Do we live, awakened, hoping?
Raise your eyes to him, for him
Here it come, closer, closer
At every hour death seems closer
Long shadows surround me, call me
I feel it’s hand upon me
I smell it’s death upon me
And it’s midnight conquers me
And now – it is me!

Carry the old words home and lay them into stone
As hard as the earth, we leave a cold new curse
Unknown words lying under my speech dying
Where the altar should have been, can no longer be seen

I’d seen bastions fall, and I pity your war
I seize your thorn and I am known to all whores
I danced in a dream. I did not make a sound
I have seen what I cannot receive

Whispering my given name
Unfurls the fingers of flame
Nameless sons and daughters of sin
Step forward when you hear the bells ring

Feel The Misery

The music of neglect. The words always reject.
Feel the misery
Some claim it’s tragedy. Some claim calamity.
Feel the misery
Do not waste happiness or sing for loneliness.
Feel the misery
Follow the falling path and take every single lash.
Feel the misery
A riot of beauty, lacking in dignity.
Feel the misery

Is it worth the wait? Is there hope for me?
Can it really wait? Let us watch and see.

The fairest flowers fade, stolen away by shade.
Feel the misery
Love is full of fear. Loved ones soon disappear.
Feel the misery
These are the words not of one who kneels to God.
Feel the misery

The music of neglect. The words always reject.
Feel the misery
Some claim it’s tragedy. Some claim calamity.
Feel the misery
Some blame the moon above. Some blame a missing dove.
Feel the misery

A Thorn of Wisdom

There’s dark here, dark enough and just the pain you love.
Your reflection is a dying me. Use it well and flee from me.
You hide your hair from victims and stoop to drink straight from them.
I know my heart flows away from thee.
And wounded tears come crashing down.

I sometimes enjoy solitude.
Inspecting her shame keeps me amused.
Leave the world and pain to me
And keep your soul far from sleep
And ghost turned against ghost.
I lay for you and I was choked
The cost to me being more than I had to bestow.
I sometime enjoy solitude.

I Celebrate Your Skin

Her secrecy is charming to me.
The sexual wisdom of a thousand years
With silver eyes she tore through me
It is you I bring to ruin
Please, a silent hour, it’s you that turned old
My love was never a blessing
My gifts are oh so cold

So I celebrate your blood. It is the music of the sea
I was simply running for the flesh.
Your wound falls away from me.
Your summer breathes aloud, it is a kiss that awakens me.

My secrecy is charming to her.
The two of us, we understood.
With fragile limbs you claimed your leave.
While holding hands with a dying God.
It was my pride you gifted to me
While holding hands with a dying God.

So I celebrate your skin, it is the curves of the earth.
Roaring skies endlessly left, on the great day of your birth
As you lay before my storm, a bird sits at your noble feet.

I am a world apart, I am the coldest heart I am a serpent of the sea
You are a golden sun, you are the silver moon you are a fever killing me.
I am a thoughtless dream, I am never seen, I am what you all will be
You are the glowing pain, you are the one to blame, you are my tragedy.

I Almost Loved You

Across her body I fled.
‘You never knew’ she said.
All me listened, and listened still.
‘All things betray you – and I will’.

And in her hand sat my hand.
Cold the sun and waters ran.
As the deep called me up
I named her as my love.

I wandered half the night
To cast a secret ring in fire.
We’d been lovers only a short time
Yet I stood, pretty in your mouth.
You and the night slip by.
You are incomplete without me.
You were made great.
How men left you.
A dying star.
I almost loved you.

Within a Sleeping Forest

Once in the river, Orpheus died in my arms
His heart, ancient as this fallen world
Fades away in the truth of all his joy

He is dull dead. He was drowned there
In my hands his fate. He coldly died.
Voyage well across the sky my friend.

My pain floats down your river to a waterfall
And in this light, hearing cries I look up at you
Your beauty and form appear as great wonders

Awful and yet beautiful to my hopeless weary eyes
His face, still now, it rests in cold hands and colder heart.
As I sat and shivered comfortless in this lonely land.

In a sullen wood, some years ago, he played a song I did not know
The trees they knew me and knew him more. Whispered our names into their lore

Sing a song of joy with effortless breath. I wrote the words to his death
So on that day, near the glen, my ink drew up his secret end

A kiss, your gift to give away so freely
A gentle suffering thing you were
So steep they fell, my tears to your lips

And that night will be forever.
And at night we live forever.
And I drew her near to me and away from him.

Sin is the root of all sorrow, so look upon, my well is dry
Don’t run my lady. Now please be mine. Come on my lover, you didn’t even try!